He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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