someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
