White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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