all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
