I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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