I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
