dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dick very happy bro
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
