I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
