What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
