i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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