I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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