Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
