dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
