Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize