hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize