I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
there is glitter all over my balls
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