the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish you could order shots online.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
