What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
