Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
