My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
