I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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