I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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