You're my little dorito
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
