if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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