What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can I color on your dick again?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
