I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
