Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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