the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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