Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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