You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
