im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
