i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
