dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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