so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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