We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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