so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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