i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
