And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
