Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
