"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize