Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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