Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
