in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
