you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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