Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
