I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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