Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
