she was so not down for the gang bang
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
