Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
