By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
