Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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