i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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