Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
