And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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