I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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