If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
