can u get pink eye on your cock?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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